When the Unthinkable Happens…

I got up this morning and all started normal. I went out to take care of my animals. My cat had kittens a week ago and decided to send a Snapchat to a few of my close friends. It looked like this…

With the weather being so pretty out…I decided to move the cat and kittens from our shop (inside) to my front porch. I thought they could all use a little sunshine.

I have done this a few times this week – so nothing new or out of the ordinary.

I went out to check on them several times and all was well. And back to my computer I went.

Then suddenly… my son, while on the phone, opened the outside door to the house and motioned for me to come outside. It appeared urgent – so I ran out only to find our beagle dog with one of the babies in its mouth (the little yellow and white one at the bottom of the picture). I was so confused as to what was going on. He typically can not reach the front porch because of his electronic collar preventing him from being within that range. Apparently, the cat liked it better in the shop and was moving the babies back to what she thought was a safe spot.

During this process… I completely panicked and began yelling at our dog. This only intensified him wanting to keep the baby kitten. He ran from me with it in his mouth- squeezing it as if it was a toy. The more I tried to get it from him, the more he persisted and then the UNTHINKABLE happened. He persisted in the fight until the kitten was no longer alive and until he won the little game we were playing.

My son reassured me that this was a part of life and helped me with putting our dog back into his pen for us to get all the other babies to safety.

This has triggered something so strong within me… I knew I needed to contemplate on it for awhile. It made me realize, and question that when the UNTHINKABLE happens, how do I typically react?

Does it trigger something within me and I become completely unconscious about how I am responding?
Does it cause me to thrash out and lose control of my emotions?
Could I have responded differently and have changed the whole scenario?
Can I blame the situation entirely on my dog?

It made me realize that I can more consciously respond to situations. I can acknowledge when something triggers me and choose a more aware way of choosing thoughts. I can look at situations and decide that I will use them as impotence to move forward. I do not have to stay stuck in the pain of whatever it is that has caused me great angst. I do not need to blame others (or animals) for their reactions. We all had a part in what happened. All I can control is my own reaction and behavior.

Today, tomorrow, and next week…

How can we choose differently to handle the UNTHINKABLE?